How to Cure an Perfection Attack

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Hello my forward living friends!!!!For the last few months we have been discussing perfectionism. How perfect isn’t complete; it’s a process of growing, maturing, developing, evolving, and flowering. Operating under any other idealistic definition is a set-up for bondage. As you hopefully have, I’ve been taking a trip to weed myself of poisonous thought processes on this subject.

I won’t lie. As I was preparing for my 30th birthday celebration last month, I was in a rut and on emotional roller coaster due to falling into and fighting our of old thought habits. My focus was on all the things I haven’t accomplished. Time had flowed by. Have you been there too? I know I can’t be alone on this. Questions may have run through you mind such as, “I must have made too many mistakes what’s the point” “I’m too old,”“ What’s wronged with me,? “This is taking too long.”I know x but I can’t walk it out. What I was experience was a perfection attack. I phoned a few friends to get me backed centered.

I walked away from this experience with a gorgeous tasty cake, an amazing dress, and a question. I posed the question how do I deal with my imperfections especially when they gang up on me. (Perfection attacks are no joke) One quote from Cindy Trim’s book The 40 Day Soul Fast helped to keep my peace. It stated,

God’s strength is always made perfect in your weaknesses. ( or imperfections added by me) Don’t apologize for your shortcoming instead, watch for God to fill your voids.”
After mediating on Cindy’s word of wisdom I was able to identify how to overcome when perfectionism attacks.
1. Remember it’s not about me. Say it with me “It’s not about me” God will complete what He started in the meantime He will show-up Himself through me.
2. Catch yourself in the act and choose stop.
3. Flip the switch on what going right.
4. Walking away from perfectionism is a process not an overnight trick. The fact that you are open to changing is a sign of progress.
5. Take a moment to love on you. You take a physical, mental, and emotion beating when you are critical of yourself. Replenish yourself with some TLC. Call a friend, watch a movie, and don’t forget to breath.
6. Praise God anyhow and anywhere. Praise is a healer and a breakthrough guarantee.

Divine Assignment
1. What are 3 triggers to your perfectionism?
2. What are signs that you are having a perfection attack? ( This can be with your thoughts, mood, physical symptoms)
3. What are your 3 TLC activities to build yourself up?

Sparkle On,

Tiffany D. Flowers

What Does Perfect Got To Do With It?

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I hope you had a chance to ponder and implement the “better” over the “I must be perfect” concept. I know I went old school, I got a pen and a notebook and I just began to write. Not with a particular goal in mind, just letting my pen take the lead.  I must admit, it was quite a healing experience. I did stumble upon a question I hope you can help answer. In this life truly want does perfect have to do with it? Tina Turner was on to something when she sang the classic, what does loves have to do with it? Especially if the definition of love you are operating under is incorrect. Like Tina, love doesn’t abuse, control, or place you in bondage. Likewise, perfect has the same potential.

Perfect is not the problem but the definition you may or may not be operating under. In Ephesians 2:8-9 (Amplified version)We are growing into complete maturity. Want I see is that perfect isn’t complete; reaching the a high heights of some sort but a process of growing, maturing, developing, evolving, and my favorite flowering (synonym from Webster Thesaurus I didn’t make it up) Our only motivation for this maturing is to live out our God given purpose individually carved out for you to carry out into the field. (Ephesians 4:12 KJV)

So what does perfect has to do with it? Nothing! It all about you being willing to evolve, grow, and flower into the divine destiny which is yours only. Joyce Meyer has a word of wisdom that I love. She says “God will help you be all you can be, but He will never help you be someone else.” I would like to add God will not help you carry out someone else’s purpose; it simply won’t fit. On your way to better you can flower up each step.

Devine Assignment

  1. What definition of perfect have you been operating under?
  2. In what way has perfect put you in bondage? How can you break those chains?

Sparkle On,

Tiffany D. Flowers

Are you Moving With Winning Motives? (answer below)

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Intrigued? Hopefully so, It only took 25 days to come up this mysterious title and another month to write it down ( dramatic I know but it’s so me lol) But seriously, it really did take over a month to reach down in my spirit to bring forth a message I pray will reach you. This was a process because it was also a lesson for me. I sincerely desired for this month’s Future Focus article to be profound so it could have an impact from a place much beyond me. I wanted the right words and to be eloquent or simply put perfect.

During this process it hit me, how many others like me has something to share or place to reach, a goal to obtain, a picture to paint but the motion to move is weighed down in the desire for perfection? The gift you have is being hidden from those who are waiting on you but they just don’t know your name.

Perfection is a dream killer often rooted in fear or shall I say self righteousness. It is written that there was only one perfect Man. This being so, how can we set such an unobtainable goal for ourselves? Who gets the glory for what you produce? If the answer somehow points to the answer “me” it’s time for a motive check. Our motives dictate our motion toward or away from for ordain destination in life.

How about progress? or a spirit of excellence? Or my favorite… better than? I’m not where I want to be but I’m in a better place than I use to be. I can handle stress better, manage my money better, plan and execute better, I love myself better. I don’t know about you but that felt good reading that out loud.

Get glad with better and throw away perfect; it’s weighing down you motion.

Sparkles,

Tiffany

Destiny Assignments

1. How does perfection impact you?

2. If things were “perfect” what would you be doing?

2. How can the concept of “better” move you forward ?

S/n I would love to hear back from you

Poetry In Motion

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Poetry In Motion
April is Poetry Month! Lets get the balloons and cups overflowing with stanzas, hyperboles, similes metaphors, haikus, and alliterations. It is a party! Whoot! Whoot! I think April is a perfect month because of a well know saying we all learned as children. April showers brings what? … That’s right May flowers. As a poet and those who are either interested or drawn to this art form, it takes rain. Rain like tears ( see the metaphor hahaha) brings forth beauty in the mist of what is muddy.
In the mud we can create. Whether it is poetry on page, a picture painted on canvas, or a period you are in on your job, family, or business; rain comes. I believe just as poetry can be written in motion in the rain, so can you. It feeds to create life changing pieces or positions straight from the heart. Ones that connect you God, to your neighbors, strengthen your vision, pushes you when you want to stop. But the words as well as the Word, sets you in motion on a narrow road just for you bring beauty from ashes.
So write the poem, paint that picture, read that Psalm,start the business, change careers because we are in motion toward your destination.
Let us dance in the rain until the flowers bloom
Forward Living
Tiffany D. Flowers
Destiny Assignment
1. Find and post for you and others to see your favorite piece of poetry/art
2. Why are you connected to this piece

Springing Forward

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Well the time has come where everyone has sprung forward. Pushed their clocks an hour ahead. I must say I was thrilled to see the sun still out after 6pm! Not to mention, the sun was shining and it was 40 degrees which translates to 80 here in the Midwest. Yay for weather above -50 degrees! The cabin fever I been holding broke. In the mist of my enthusiasm I was interrupted by a friend of mine who jumped in saying “I was so mad I lost a hour (of sleep) I’m sleepy.” Humph the same day had past; I hadn’t missed or felt the lost of an hour. In fact, I was energized.
While his and I experience were different, neither was wrong. It donned on me, time can at some points require us speed forward or even fall back. We can have lost or gain in the clicking of the hands of a clock. What does matter is our response. See I went for walk, wrote, stirred myself up in praise and hope I have been given. A much needed remedy. My friend? He napped to recover for his lost then worked.
Our needs change. I would like you to take an inventory of your needs. Check for any areas that may be out of balance or in need of deleting from your to do list. Spring forward in style and top notched self care. Besides you deserve it. You work hard for your calling so better treat yourself right. (In my Donna Summers voice)
Sparkle On,
Tiffany D. Flowers
Destiny Assignment
1. Make a list of your 5 core needs. Note any need of changes
2. If need pick 1 need to fill once a day. Gradually add more need filling activities.

The Other-Side Of the City

blackdressThe Other-Side Of The City: A  Poetry Program Challeging the stigma of inner-city life as well a call to action to end complacey about  volience in our community

When: February 22,2014 at 3:30pm 05:30pm

Where: Robert E. Lee Recreation Center, Social Hall Iowa City

Tickets: $10 in advance $15 at the door

Ticket can be found at New Poineer Co-op  and Online at http://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-other-side-of-the-city-tickets-10351277951

Out with Old … In With The New

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One thing I have learned is the saying change is evitable applies not only to situations, people, places, and things but to me and you. I write this entering 2014 because many of us will enter the new year with the same limiting beliefs that has contributed to the stagnation or even the death of the manifestation of the fruit of our calling in previous years. However, you can choose to grasp hold of the truth that you have or can make the changes within your life to reach a higher level.

I must admit I stumbled upon this factual notion that I cannot base my ability, success or lack of success based on the me of the past. I was actually joking around with my friend Heather about how when I was in the second grade I couldn’t for the life of me make a paper snowflake in art class.  I joked how since I couldn’t do it at the time, I got creative and made my project using older crafts from class. You should have saw me, I gestured with grandeur how the teachers looked at me with concern. It was funny, if I could say so myself.

What I didn’t know was it wasn’t funny at all. Here it was as an adult ( I’ll skip the age) saying to my friend that I can’t make a snowflake because I couldn’t do it when I was 7 years old ( I can tell you that age). I decided to make a snowflake. With Heather’s instruction I made it!  I couldn’t do it then but I could now. I want to let you know that just because you couldn’t or struggled in past years does not mean you can’t be successful today. Believe you have change or can change.

Destiny Assignment

1.      Indentify 3 things that you can do now that you could do before.

2.      Write how the old you is influencing the now you. How can you tap into the future you?

Love and Hugs,

Tiffany

A Perfect Gift

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‘Tis the season to be jolly has arrived once again. And while I am a believer that everyday is a day to be jolly  for  every day is from  the Lord and we shall rejoice in it( Psalms 19:24 KJV); to see God in every thing. I admit there is something special about this season. A time that compels people to see the good in others and express their love in selecting the perfect gift.  Now, I will say some people take this intent a little too far. Can you say maxed out credit card ?(shout out to Visa, Master Card and Discover)

This season I want to challenge you to intentionally look within, then look directly in the mirror and see that the perfect gift is you, filled to the top with many more gifts that appear in the form of talent(Ephesians  2:10 ). You are truly a perfect piece of workmanship; art. Peek inside to see. Then show it off to the world boldly. Someone is waiting for you; your gift. May I add while it may sound odd; the core of you is waiting for you to acknowledge and tap in to what you were purposed for.

Thank you for being a gift to me. Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!1

Love and Hugs,

Tiffany D. Flowers.

Destiny Assignment

  1. Describe in a letter how you are a gift
  2. What are three ways you can gift yourself this season?
  3. Name one way ( without money) you can be a gift to someone

The Power of Gratitude

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Take a think trip back when you were growing up. Isn’t funny how some things you experience as a kid happens to stick with you. I remember my 8th grade graduation, we had a speaker and to honest I can’t tell you half of what he said. I was just ready to be at a new level, the next big thing … high school!  But I do remember this one phase he said referring to obtaining life goals. “Everyone wants to take the elevator but sometimes you have to take the stairs.”

The elevator is quick and smooth; the stairs on the other hand can turn in a workout sweat and all. If one had to choose, I believe most people if even the option would have their hands waving in the air to choose the sleek elevator! But what happens when you are striving toward your goal and you have to take the stairs that can be tedious and uncomfortable (not to mention sweat treating to mess up your pretty.)  With each step it’s easy to have thoughts start to run through your head to stop.  Besides this ride was supposed to be smooth.

I have found that one power booster for climbing the stairwell is gratitude.  In the U.S bill of rights its uses a powerful phase “the pursuit of happiness.” I firmly believe if you only wait to arrive at the port of your divine destination, you will be drained of  your happiness even if you grasps it. Instead expressing and seeking opportunities to be thankful will fuel you and make your work meaningful along the way.  Exercise being thankful whether it’s that you had a opportunity to reach one person, or you made it up another flight of stairs. As Joyce Meyer often says, “I might not be where I want to but thank God I’m not where I use to be.”

Power up! Look around and acknowledge your progress and your impact.

Destination Assignment

1: Write 3 things that you are grateful for.

2. Note 3 areas of growth.

3. How can exercising more gratitude along your journey benefit you?

Love and Hugs,

Tiffany

Make A Power Move

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Apart of my life growing up, I was raised by my second older brother who cared for 5 girls plus his wife.  I know you guys are already cringing saying poor guy. But I have to give it him; he made the best out it. He definitely was spoiled which he played up to this very day even though he would deny it. In one of his attempts to get the boy he desired he brought home a brand new Sega Genesis with a Mortal Combat video game. My niece and I while not ecstatic as my brother; we gave it a try. I was really frustrated at first because I could never learn any of the power moves to allow me the chance to win. I lost ever game. This losing streak would continue until I found Sonja and learned her power move of kicking at warp speed. Then I started learning how to others like flying in the air doing a twist kick. Before you know I was winning match after match even against my brother which he would probably deny.

I got to thinking how much of this game could be applied to life. How much it applied to people who bear a dream so big it consumes them.  I come to learn just a dream brings life and can also lead to a heavy, bitter heart. Here is why, you see yourself living out your dream in your ordain destination. You want live out all of what in the desire of your heart. Yet in the now you are facing no’s, growing pains, a cloudy vision, and others appearing to surpass you.

Your arrival to your Devine destination doesn’t work that way. It’s like that game. It happens by learning and executing one power move at a time. It take even finding the character, in this instance developing the “You” needed to take hold of your destiny. Then you can build upon one power move at a time. The first power move you must make is taking the first step. Just has it’s written from there you must have patience and grow from glory to glory. (2 Corinthians 3:18) Just ask Ronnisha Lynn Founder and CEO of the clothing line Aura. Aura first started as Aura Fashion boutique based in Kansas City Mo, now it’s growing into a national brand appearing on runways across the nation including New York City, Ohio, Florida, etc. When asked what was her first power she stated it was making a decision to open her very own boutique .Backed with hard work “it open a lot of additional opportunities.”

In the mean time, your attitude in between levels is the key. The fuel behind growth is carrying an attitude of expectancy and gratitude.  Not only for yourself but other’s victory. Ronnisha Lynn stated   “While there were several other boutiques, my thought process was, how can I set myself apart? which led to idea to launch fashion shows and then a magazine” Notice she was not discourage or  negative about the other businesses.  Depending where you are, in the meantime season, spend it wisely on focusing on the power move you are in or if you are in transition prepare for your next Power Move. Just as Ronnisha Lynn did, with Aura boutique booming and magazine attracting famous individuals, her next power move is The Midwest Fashion Week where she the first from her area or small town to be chosen.  Remember it’s all about one power move to the next.

For more information about Aura feel free to visit www.ronnishalynn.com

Destination Assignment

  1. What are the steps you have trying to take to drive into your dream?
  2. How can you transform those into a Power Move?

Love and Hugs,

Tiffany D. Flowers